Monday, August 20, 2007

Review of Colnago Extreme Power

I know I am way to serious in my style of writing. Thank god there are funny people in the world to make up for me. Like the guy that writes his cycling blog at His bike reviews make fun of the over-hyped marketing so common for bikes, the Colnago Extreme Power as an example:

"Alex Colnago says, "our approach for 2008 is [to] upgrade our graphics with most models," and it shows. As usual, Colnago engineers clearly asked themselves the hard questions, like: “How can we make this bike look better?;” “Where is Antonio the Intern with our lunchtime wine?;” and “How far from the thingy that the bars attach to should we put the thingy that the seat attaches to?” Just one look at the Extreme Power shows that they were able to answer all these questions and more.

Now, I didn’t ride the Colnago Extreme Power, but I looked at the Colnago website, which was full of poorly-translated English and a lot of Flash animation. I also rode lots of crappy bikes that were not the Colnago Extreme Power and possessed none of the attributes of the Colnago. Even the name of the bicycle itself told me most of what I needed to know, which is that if you either have or want to produce Extreme Power then this is the bike to ride. So I can say with complete assurance that the carbon fiber construction and layup yielded a frame that was laterally stiff yet vertically compliant. I can also say that this bike climbs like a monkey in a set of crampons, descends like a monkey in a set of crampons being dropped from a helicopter, handles corners like a prostitute, and accelerates like a particle in a particle accelerator that itself is just a tiny particle in a giant particle accelerator. Overall, the effect is like sitting in a caffe in a trendy Milan street while sipping a cappuccino and wearing fabulous clothes yet inexplicably traveling at or close to the speed of light. Pure Italian class.

The Bottom Line:

Buy It If: You do the ordering for the entire table at Italian restaurants and regularly send the wine back.

Don’t Buy It If: You don’t want to win races and you’re a loser."

1 comment:

  1. Funny stuff, buddy! I bought an Extreme Power last year and have thus far put about 2,800 miles on it. I weigh 195 pounds and no matter how hard I drive into the pedals, the frame is as inflexible as John McCain on Iraq. I'm 6 years old and thus, comfort is a premium. This bike delivers in that category as well (thus explaining the 2,800 miles in less than 12 full months). You're right about the paint job....It's kind of like my wife - people see us and chortle about me, "You're only into her for her looks." Wrong on both counts.